My (Foolish) Immortal
by PhoenixFlame53
Summary: Manfred von Karma is fed up of his reputation getting a bad name, and is just generally annoyed with the world. So he gets onto his computer and begins to write a fanfiction, which bears a strange resemblance to that one infamous Harry Potter fanfic that is known the world over...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

AN: thank you very much (get it, coz Im polite) 2 my bf (ew not in that way) edgeworth, franziska 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Damon ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! LAW ROX!

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Hi my name is Manfred Perfection Perfection Perfection von Karma and I have long perfect grey hair (that's how I got my name) with silver streaks and dark silver tips that reaches my mid-neck and icy dark green eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Ebenezer Scrooge (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Judge but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I drink lots of coffee but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a prosecutor, and I work at a place called the Prosecutor's Office in Los Angeles where I'm on the first floor (I'm number one). I'm a pessimist (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly blue and gold. I love Germany and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a blue suit jacket with matching lace around it and a blue pair of trousers, a white cravat and black penny loafers. I was wearing wrinkle cream, white foundation, a turquoise brooch and men's cologne. I was walking outside the Prosecutor's Office. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of foolish preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them

"Hey Manny!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Damon Gant!

"What's up Damon?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard the bailiff call me and I had to go away.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

AN: Thanks 2 Franziska 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW fools stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I went into the courthouse and used the toilet. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my toilet cubicle and drank some water from the tap in the sink. The paper towel dispenser was an alabaster white and inside they were a strange turquoise with liquid on the end . I shook myself out of my daze and gazed in the mirror at the outfit I had put on instead of my pyjamas. Instead, I had chosen to wear a prussian blue blazer, a silk cravat, penny loafers and a turquoise brooch. I was wearing four pairs of cufflinks in the ends of my sleeves, and I had put my hair in a kind of messy style.

My friend, Gregory (AN: Edgworth dis is u!) came out of the toilet then and grinned at me. He flipped his short-length raven black hair with lots of gel and blinked his forest-green eyes. He put on his trench coat with black trousers, a nice hat and comfortable work shoes. We put on our usual makeup products (wrinkle cream, cologne, white foundation.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Damon Gant yesterday!" he said excitedly.

"Yes? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Damon?" he asked as we went out of the men's bathroom and into the lobby.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" he exclaimed. Just then, Damon walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, the Investigators are having a concert at Gourd Lake," he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love the Investigators. They are my favorite law-themed pop band, besides those that are classical bands and opera.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

_REAL AN: Thanks for all the reviews on this parody, omg. This is so fun to do. I'm just questioning changing the rating a little higher due to what happens next... if it happens at all. *wiggles eyebrows* I'm definitely going to keep making this so I hope you enjoy the further adventures of Manfred Perfection Perfection Perfection Perfection von Karma._

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AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY FOOLZ OK! odderwize thanks very much 2 da prsecutor ppl 4 da good reveiws! THANKS AGEN GREGORY! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 de Investigators.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black penny loafers with custom insoles. Underneath them were some socks. Then I put on another blue suit jacket with all this lace stuff on the back and front. I put on a matching cravat around my neck. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky at the end. I felt a little angry then, so I bashed my head against the wals. I read a book about law jurisdiction while I waited for the concussion to go and I listened to some Investigatoers. I applied some cologne and put on TONS of wrinkle cream. Then I put on my brooch. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some port so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Damon was waiting there in front of his motorcycel. He was wearing a orange suit jacket (bcuz he was chef of polic), matching orange pants, some nice musk and rose-tinted glasses (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer tem ok!).

"Hello Damon!" I said in a monotonous voice.

"Hi Manny." he said back. We climbed onto his cool orange Harley-Davidson(the license plate said SW1 MMIN) and drove to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to loads of law-themed bands. We both smoked cigars. When we got there, we both hopped of the motorcycel. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to the Investigatoers.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The bailiff brings you in, puts you on the stand They imprison you for life." sang Melodas (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"That judge dud is so fucking hot." I said to Damon, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Damon looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we danced to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's alright I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Damon sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said, monotonously. "Besides I don't even know that dude and he's going out with this prsecutr I work with. I hate that little fool." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly brown hair.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Damon. After the concert, we drank some spirits and asked Melodas and Trevl for their autographs and photos with them. We got Investigatoers merchandise. Damon and I hopped back onto the Harley-Davidson, but Draco didn't go back to the Prsecutor's Office, instead he drove the car towards...**Gourd Lake!**


	4. Chapter 4

_REAL AN: Welp, I didn't want to change the rating so I chickened out on the whole 'MAKE 'EM F*CK' thing. I hope you don't mind and still want to read the rest, there'll be more coming! Imagine Damon and Manfred doing the sexy times tho. Nuh-uh. Not in this parody they won't. Two old men with equally old genitalia._

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AN: I sed stup flaming ok manfred's name is MANFERD nut gary stu OK! DAMON IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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"DAMON!" I shouted. "What on earth do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the motorcycel and he got off of it. I got out of it too.

"What the fucking hell?" I swore angrily.

"Manny?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Damon leaned in extra-close and I looked into his lime green eyes (but he was wearing rose-tinted glasess so they looked pink) which revealed so much guilt and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Damon kissed me passionately. Damon climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against the tree. He took of my suit jacket and I took of his clothes. I even took of my cravat (wich I never take off).

Like respectable peple, we put our underwear back on (AN: no way am i doing _that _god guys how horney are u to want me and damon to frickle frackle i mean come on) and kept making out by the tree.

"Oh, Damon...!" I liked kissing this man. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale face became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…Lana!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a fool or a defance attorne! Da only reson Lana swor is coz she had a hedache ok an on tup of dat she wuz mad at dem 4 makin out (prosecutrs are suposed to be heartles)! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Lana made and Damon and I follow her. She kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" she shouted.

I started to cry tears of transparent clear liquid down my wrinkled face. Damon comforted me. When we went back to the castle Lana took us to the Judge and his brother who were both looking very angry.

"They were making out in the Gourd Lake Woods!" she yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre lawyers?" asked the Judge's brothe.

"How dare you?" demanded the Judge.

And then Damon shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

Everyone was quiet. Lana and the old Canadian dude still looked mad but the Judge said. "Fine. Very well. You may go to your offices."

Damon and I went upstairs while our subordinates glared at us.

"Are you okay, Manny?" Damon asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the men's bathroom and flossed my teeth and brushed my hair and fixed up my prussian blue blazer with lace all around it and black penny loafers. When I came out….

Damon was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'Death Setnece' by the Investigaters. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodbye and he reluctantly went back to the precinct.


End file.
